January 23

Hey Kokies. Sorry if these blogs are starting to get more “official” (I don’t even know if anybody is reading these any more. I don’t look at web statistics). I’m using this site as more of a place to jot down notes, and I want to make sure I have all the relevant information at the top. I wanted to put the house address as well, but I was yelled at by my coworker Mrs. Nishida, saying that it’s private information. The names are also fake for that reason.

If you didn’t know my work routine, I show up at the office every morning and get stack of residential locations, they call them bukken 物件, that I am supposed to check out. Each location has some research about it, peak “haunting hours” if any, and sometimes some points of contact. This location seemed to have a death of a young girl, Rika, from a terminal illness, followed shortly after by the rest of the family simultaneously falling into a coma, only found and rescued after a family friend knocked on their door and called the police after three days.

The family friend’s name was Mrs. Ishi. She said that her son Kohei was the same age as Rika, and they used to play together until Kohei “outgrew playing with girls.” I tried to figure that part out, but it seemed to be some combination of Kohei joining a Little League and no longer wanting to see a slowly dying Rika. The thought of no longer seeing a dying friend because it makes you feel bad made me want to punch the kid, and his mom to boot, but I just held my tongue. I’m learning to be more “professional.”

Either way, I walked up to the place at about 3 pm with my Ghost-Away!™ helmet in my bag. This house is when I learned the lesson to have that fucking helmet in my hands whenever I walked into a place.

The moment I crossed the threshold past the door, I was in a tea party.

I was shrunk down to appropriate size, such that the dingy plastic table and plastic chair actually fit me. I was probably two feet tall. I was in a room with tatami floors and beige walls, contrasted sharply with pink ribbons streaming from the ceiling and Disney princess posters. Lotso from Toy Story 3 was on my right and a stuffed baby seal was on my left. Across from me sat the host: Rika. She looked to be about four years old. She had long curls of blond hair, a frilly pink dress, and a pink tiara. She looked to be some emulation of Rapunzel, except she had a wire coming out of her wrist that went to a plastic bag held up on a standing metal pole. The plastic bag said, “力ジュース (Power Juice).” She picked up her pink teapot and tipped it. Tea, or something resembling tea, actually came from the teapot and into my pink teacup.

“Drink. It's delicious,” Rika said. So I drank. It tasted like strawberry milk.

When she was done pouring everybody tea, she put the teapot down and held out her stubby hand, “Welcome to my kingdom. I am Princess Rika, and I have given you my audience. What’s your name?”

I took it. My hand was about the same size as hers, but much more slender and bony. “Koki.”

"Yoroshiku. What kingdom are you from, Koki?” she asked.

“Uh…” I murmured, “America.”

Her eyes lit up. “I’ve always wanted to go. Have you seen His Majesty Disney’s castle?”

“I have,” I said, nodding, thinking of the time I went to Disneyland as a kid.

Rika smiled. “You must take me there some time. I’m so sorry, where are my manners? This is Aza-chan,” she said, pointing to the baby seal, “and this is Locchan.” She pointed to Lotso. She asked “Do you like the tea?”

I nodded, ‘It’s very good.”

“Aza-chan doesn’t like the tea, and she doesn’t like me,” Rika said, staring daggers at the baby seal. “She’s so mean to me, and that’s not okay. Because it’s my kingdom, and everyone has to do whatever the princess says. So Aza-chan, tell me a story.”

Silence as the baby seal did nothing. Maybe I’m the crazy one for thinking that it was about to open it’s mouth and spit out a Shakespearean tragedy.

Rika clicked her tongue, “That’s not a good story. Goodbye.” With a wave of her hand, the floor beneath the baby seal opened up into inky black. The baby seal, chair and all, disappeared into an eternal dark void.

Rika threw me a wink, “Pretty cool, right? This juice gives me special powers,” she said, pointing to the wire in her wrist. “It helps when my subjects get out of hand.”

That’s when I felt like I had seen enough, and also when I gathered how her entire family fell into a coma. I would to if I was falling for eternity inside that void. I started to reach for my bag, but Rika stopped me.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I feel like I’m under-dressed. I was going to wear a nice hat to match my outfit,” I said.

Rika shook her head, “I like you as you are. So don’t put a hat on. Host’s orders.”

I protested, “I promise that you’ll love the hat when you see it—”

“NO!” Rika screamed so loud that my ears rang. When I could hear normally, I saw her smile at me and say, “Koki, tell me a story.”

Not wanting to greet the eternal void, I began.

“Once upon a time, there was a brave boy called Kenta.”

“Make him Kohei. His name is Kohei,” Rika interjected.

I nodded, “A brave boy named Kohei. He always liked to play with his friend Rina, who was often sick and couldn’t go outside. So Kohei would bring the outside to her. He brought her bugs, branches, leaves, flowers and anything cool that he found outside. One day, he was looking for something cool to show Rina, but he wandered too far. He was caught in a trap!”

“Don’t kill Kohei!” Rika shouted.

“Kohei wasn’t dead,” I reassured her, “He was flung upside down, and he could see a tengu approaching.

“’Do you have any last words?’ The tengu asked, sharpening his knife.

“Don’t kill Kohei!” Rika shouted again, louder. This fucking kid.

“Kohei wasn’t killed,” I stressed, gritting my teeth. “Thinking fast, Kohei said, ‘I have one request, if you’ll hear it. I have never flown or been in the air, unlike you. Please, can you take me to the sky and show me what it’s like to be a bird?’

“The tengu nodded, smiling, ‘Fine. I’ll take you up and drop you, so you can fly until your last seconds.’

“The tengu wrapped Kohei up and brought him up, higher and higher, up and up, until Kohei couldn’t see people any more. Then just as the tengu was about to drop him, Kohei took the knife from him and cut his head off!”

Rika screamed as loud and high-pitched as any girl can scream. My ears started ringing again, and I truly felt for her parents.

“This is not a good story!” Rika shouted. “It’s too gross!” I could already see the floor underneath me turning black.

“Okay, okay,” I said quickly. “You’re right. It needs some work. How would you change it? Can you give me some ideas?”

Rika stopped, pausing for a few seconds of blissful silence. She put her stubby hand to her chin and tapped it with her thumb, scrunching her mouth. “The tengu realized how handsome and nice Kohei was and decided to carry him down.

“And the tengu said, ‘You’re my best friend.’

“But Kohei said, ‘Sorry tengu, you can’t be my best friend because Rina is my best friend.’

“And the tengu said, ‘That’s okay.’

“And they lived happily ever after.”

My original idea of Kohei ripping off the tengu’s wings to fly down was much better, but creatives always have meddling bosses who think they know everything. Now I had to build off her insanely stupid story.

“But not quite, because Kohei had one last thing to give to Rina,” I said. At that, I took out my bag and held in front, as if to flourish a great item.

Rika leaned forward, “What is it?”

I opened the top flap and produced a round object, originally supposed to represent the tengu’s head. “A magical helmet!”

Rika gasped again, but then looked at my Ghost-Away!™ helmet quizzically. She asked, “What does it do?”

“Let me show you. Watch.” As quickly as I could, before I could meet the void, I put on the helmet. Immediately, the tea party, Lotso, and Rika were gone. I was back at the entrance on the ground. I didn’t even get three feet in the house. Mrs. Nishida was outside a few feet away. She asked, “Everything okay?”

I turned to her and I said, “We need to get the fuck outta here.”